Today is Pierce The Veil 's first concert in Singapore. I feel sad cos I cant go. Lol

Know what?

Tomorrow's going to be the best day ever. I mean I hope so.

what happened Tonight.

It was a mixture of happiness and sadness.

Here I am, blogging this in tears. Happy or sad ones? Well you guess.

Lets start with the great news first shall we?

I'm going to Japan, Okinawa Island next year! I have always dreamt of going there and now when I find out it's really happening, I am very grateful for Allah to be giving me this chance.

Now the bad one huh?

Well. There isn't really.. It's just that all these pent up emotions just poured out of me. It's crazy. I have been keeping this emotions inside of me for a very long time. But I know better than to post it on social networking websites. Which I am doing right now but hey at least I'm not talking about what is it that I'm upset about right?

So well. That is all for tonight. See you in a few days or probably never again.

Interesting. OR Intresting?

That is the question of the night.

Well, at least mine. I got quite confused with the spelling and the pronounciation. Yeah I know that is extremely stupid and I think far too much. But in the end I managed to spell correctly. yay!

Oh well. You know that feeling like something awesome is going to happen and you can't wait for it? It's happening right now; for me. I am going to Kuala Lumpur this Wednesday and I can't wait. It is gonna be so awesome I can tell! I mean I hope yeah!

I've been in a lot of stress lately, with those serious thoughts lol. My results are probably going to be all time low but I swear that I will work hard for my semestral exams because, well.. I'm motivated! yeah by this guy who I shall not name because he does not know me and neither do I.

Anyway, I once went home with this great guy who kinda motivated me by saying "I thought you were smart". Hmm. It probably sounds more degrading but well.. I don't really care because it raised my hopes up.

Do you have that feeling of shyness where you want to speak to your friend online but well you're too shy and then kinda talk to that friend online for a day then one week after then you start conversing again because you are too afraid to talk to that person, even online because you're just too shy. and in the end get jealous because that person talks to other people and not you and you have to start conversations on your own but in reality you just cry all night and pretend to call that person and well start having imaginary conversations with that person because you want to and well you are alone so you think that that person's your only friend but hey that person is not.

But you still want that person so badly.

That happens to me all the time.

Anyway. I totally need present ideas for my friend, yeah the one from the other class cos she gave me chocolates for my birthday. Hmm what should I get herrr? :( lol I was thinking of drawing her something because I think that's the only thing I am good at I. heheh as if

So.. hi.

I have a tumblr. Follow me if you want, or ask me questions. I don't really receive much, and it kinda sucks. hehe.

www.loquimeanstospeak.tumblr.com

As you can see, I don't really type personal posts there as well, I'm weird. hah.

Lol no I just don't know how to tag stuff and btw I don't want any of my friends to know my exact thoughts cos that would make them hate me and I love them so no.

I reblog stuff there, because I have no beautiful picture or whatever of my own.

So yeah.

The edge of a breakdown.

Why do other people have close friends they can talk to? I for one don't even have one to begin with. But probably I do, except for the fact they don't know anything about me I think. I think.

People can probably argue that I am happy all the time, but I'm not. It's just a mask I put on every single damn day.

My friends from the other class now dislike me. Probably because I am too loud. Seriously. What is the matter with me?  don't really know the cause but I know they dislike me by the way they're treating me.

Anyway. So much for friends. I have none. But like I said, I probably do. But I just don't realise it.  Yet. Maybe. Whatever.

I regret.

My decision in life.
I chose the worst possible way, and now I feel like ending my life. I was so content, why did I have to ruin everything with my last-minute decisions?

My results.
I know that I'm not gonna get good grades, because I have no motivation.  Someone should just go and call me and say positive words, so that I can do it? 

I guess I'm just jealous with the world. So happy like my friends from the other class.

I am the odd one out and nothing is ever gonna change because that's how it is.

I feel so lonely,

I feel like taking a rock and letting it hit my eyes so I can get blind and be oblivious in this world

I def know nobody's reading this so. hi, Vampie and Alistair.

I feel like everyone hates me. I don't know why, it's just this ominous feeling that I have.

Friday is usually the best day.

It is the day when I get to be with my friends, from the other class of course.
I usually bump into them in the train, on the train platform, usually on the way home. These four people whom I call my friends. They are awesome. We don't really talk much, just the casual hi byes; but to me they are amazing. They are usually the ones I want to hang out with, because like I said, I can't click with my classmates. They are just.. too boring awesome i guess.

Now, you may actually not know this, but I go home alone. As in, not while walking home, I have my classmates with me, i.e. the group I hang out with. It's when I'm on the train. My classmates ride the other train, obviously not on my side. We stay at the other sides of this island. It kinda sucks but it's okay because i like being alone. Sometimes.

And well, sometimes I meet my friends in the train, like I typed in the first paragraph. They usually talk about stuff, and I listen. I like listening to them. They include me in their conversations, and I thank them for that. Basically I just like being with them. I really do.

That is all I guess because I know no one reads this.